Driving Instructors of the Universe
by Auditory Eden
Summary: I had lessons from the best, she said. It's a shame you were busy that day. Rose/Doctor, River/Doctor. A teaser trailer for L'Enfant Vaillant.


Author: Auditory Eden

Rating: K+

Warnings: Confusion

Notes: For my dear friend The PinK BandiT for being a supportive friend to the enormous endevour that "L'Enfant Vaillant" is proving to be. Here's a bit of fluff and joy for your consumption.

Driving Instructors of the Universe

"Is that—" River asked breathlessly.

"Tardis," Rose confirmed, and darted forwards, not even clicking her fingers as the doors flew open to welcome her back like a lost child.

River followed her in, as Rose walked up the stairs into the unfamiliar console room. "Hello, my sweetheart," she murmured, stroking her hand along the railing. "What's wrong?"

"Where's the Doctor?" the younger, older-looking woman asked. "Where is he?"

"Not here, I'd guess," Rose stated unnecessarily. "That's okay though. The Tardis can take me, sorry, us, to him."

"Only the Doctor can fly the Tardis," River said, affronted.

Rose snorted. "Thete—um, the Doctor never even took the course, let alone pass the test. Well, he started it, but he failed out halfway through. If I'd stayed I'd've passed the final and gotten my license. I'm the _best_. He's abusive, practically. Isn't that right, girl," Rose cooed at the console. A soft light flickered.

"I'll teach you," Rose said, suddenly. "First off, that's the time rotor. You know that noise, the huuuuh, huuuuh noise? That's not supposed to happen. He leaves the breaks on. Does a number on her, I can tell you." She pointed to a glowing green thing. "That's the brakes. Shouldn't be glowing if we want to move. Turn `em off."

River moved cautiously forwards and flicked the switch at the base of the green light. It turned off and the Tardis made a noise like a sigh of relief.

"Now turn on the stabilizers," Rose commanded. "The blue button. That one there. Bet you anything he thinks it doesn't do anything, but that keeps the flight path stable, the shields, makes it less bumpy, that sort of thing."

Rose herself moved forward now, laying gentle hands on the console as she explained the time settings, the monitor, how to bypass the invisibility settings to use the monitor, the hand brake, the dematerialization lever, and why she should never use the Doctor's hammer tactics.

"You're telling me he doesn't know any of this and he still manages to fly her?" River asked wonderingly.

"Haven't you ever wondered why it is he never ends up where he means to? He doesn't really fly her. She just indulges him, mostly. He can't make her go anywhere she doesn't want to. I could, but I wont.

"Speaking of which," Rose abruptly ended the line of conversation, "I'd like to get to him, now, if you wouldn't mind, girl?" She seemed to think, then lightly touched a number of dials and the dematerialization lever.

The time rotor began to move silently and smoothly, and River almost missed the groaning wheeze until she thought how unpleasant it must be to actually be making the noise, not just hearing it.

A few seconds later the rotor stopped moving, and River started. "Have we actually moved, only there's usually a lot of bumping around when the Tardis lands," she asked.

Rose snorted. "The stabilizers," she explained. "Now check the outside conditions, I taught you how."

River gave her a grateful look, then surveyed the monitor. "High oxygen, low radiation, reasonable temperature," she listed off. "All clear."

"Good." Rose began to move towards the door. "Bye," she told the woman standing at the console.

"Wait."

Rose turned. "How do you know all this?" River asked, slightly disbelieving that it had only just occurred to her to ask.

Rose smiled at her, and said four words that broke her heart. "I'm the Doctor's wife."

Then she was gone in a shimmer, through the door, and out into the light.

River bolted down the stairs and slammed open the door, looking out after her. There was no Rose that she could see, but there was the Doctor, barreling towards her with a manic grin.

"River!" he shouted "Not that I'm criticizing your excellent timing, but what on earth are you doing here?" he asked her as he burst through the Tardis doors, flattening her.

Through her lost breath, River said, "Saving you from the Big Bad Wolf."

Some years later, when she is older and has read the manual, and he is younger and more cocky, if that were possible, she says, "I had lessons from the best."

He says, in a way that says flattered and flirty, "Well, yeah..."

River tells him, "It's a shame you were busy that day."

The Doctor, in later years, never does find out, who, exactly, taught her to fly the Tardis.

xXx

Parting Comments: Hey, that was out of left field! No setting, no plot. Related, actually, to _L'Enfant Vaillant_, which is my own AU. Which, you know, I haven't actually published the story for yet. It's still in progress with the writing, although I've got the whole plot outlined. That, however, is spoilers. Regard this as a taste-test.

Hugs and Kisses,

Eden


End file.
